Anxiety Central

Nerves nerves and more nerves.

The start of my school year consists of a 3 week intensive session, two classes that regularly run 11 weeks, shoved into 8 hours per day, 5 days per week. That's 40 hours in class, and the professors advise planning on 2 hours of homework per hour spent in class. That adds up to 24 hours per day.

I'm waiting on my 6 books in the mail, of which I have to complete one entire book and many reading assignments before my first day.

I quit my job at the city, and quit teaching yoga. I have 5 more work days at the city before departure and a lot of work to do. I'm still waiting to hear back from financial aid about how much money they will loan and grant me. Their first offer just wasn't enough, and was based off of my last tax year, in which I made almost 4X what I did this past year. Hopefully with more information they'll be able to grant me some free money. What a thought!

I'm glad I worked the city job for a year, but it was devastating financially. The employees are bummed I'm leaving to say the least, but I'm setting the next person up for ultimate success, I think. She'll have all her contacts, procedures, all the information I've used and created the last year at her fingertips. I feel like the last year I really made a sacrifice, and that now is coming to an end. I'm entirely focussing on myself and my studies, for the first time in a very long time.

But I'm so nervous, my voice has been shaking, spontaneously crying, and I'm just not well put together. I can do it. I've made it this far, no use in turning back. That was my philosophy running up Madonna last night, only that story ended with me running downhill in pitch black with adrenaline pumping and fear of mountain lions.