Adaptation

July 1, 2006

I knew that these past few weeks would teach me a lot about life…but I have learned and experienced more than I’d hoped and imagined.

Living without my possessions has been a gift. I have learned that what I actually need in life is very little; I only need a roof over my head, food, and a place to sleep. Now, my experience was far from bare essentials, but still I’ve learned a lot.

Not knowing where things are is huge… and learning that we don’t need our things, much less any things to survive life, nor to be happy in life. Now my reality is much more privileged than that of most, but it was still a fantastic exercise in abundance. I have beautiful things, but what does it matter if one has beautiful things, if we can’t go out and enjoy life?

My studio in Los Osos was perfect. I spent literally months making it a beautiful specimen inside and out, from the smallest to the largest detail… but what I’ve realized is that it becomes almost too much effort to maintain it’s existence. I would go home because I needed to clean, I wouldn’t go into town because I felt I didn’t have a handle on the cleanliness of the place, but what I needed to realize was that life was passing me by while I was obsessing about my home. Yes—a home is a sacred place… but all it really needs to be is a place to sleep and invite friends to enjoy too.

I’ve got a very new outlook on my new house with Chris… simplicity. We have amazing things, which means we should need very little. I didn’t even try to manipulate what he bought for our bathroom at Bed Bath and Beyond today… because really, I don’t care. I have all that I need to survive. My bed, some clothes, and Tay.

Ray is gone for a month. It’s been 2 days. I miss him already, but this is good for me. He’ll get fantastic surf with his two girls for a month, and I’ll fall into work and my body for a while.

I’ve discovered the key to losing weight. Eat light, feel light, be light. That’s that. If the body feels like it needs something heavy, ask it, why? To create a shield? To keep people out? To avoid love?

I’m sleeping tonight at Ray’s because the house today wasn’t ready for us to move into. With a single comforter, Tay on the floor, Guy on the Couch on the couch, and Vic and Ray gone, I will sleep peacefully.

This experience has taught me to be adaptable to my situation in life.