An Update on Life

It has been so long since I've last written. Life is busy, work is grueling... sleep is not consistent.

Yesterday my hammock came in the mail. I have longed for a hammock for so long and finally endulged in a great sale. I hypothesize that it's the swinging motion that we see in therapy. To my surprise, the stand didn't come with the necessary wood to be constructed. Home Depot here I come... but there's no way I can fit a ten foot piece of wood in my car. Surf rack? Besides the hammock, I also purchased two hanging chairs for the front yard. As I was putting them together this morning I knocked myself in the face with one of the wooden rods. Idiot! I never saw it coming, but now I sit here with my face throbbing. Deep breaths.

Both jobs are fun at the moment, but I'm tired. I often tell customers that working at Black Sheep is my job security. Serving fatty fried foods and cocktails makes for a promising personal training business, right? I toxify others (and myself sometimes) and then detoxify the next day.

Working downtown is completely overwhelming. It is a great time, yes. But, the amount of male attention a 22-year-old single female gets working in a bar is enormous! The bartenders are so good about making sure I'm being treated respectfully and don't hesitate to kick assholes to the curb.

I haven't practiced Ashtanga in weeks. I know I need it. I know it would make everything feel more balanced, but I can't get myself to my mat. Perhaps it's that I don't have a sacred place to practice without 1,000 distractions... or that I can't stop myself from running and get frustrated by my tight hip flexors? Today I will practice... after I run :)

I miss my Frustrating Friend, but his insults sting hard. I have to draw back upon 'Love is Letting Go of Fear' and recognize that he is too scared to love me. It could be so perfect... and I'm having a hard time walking away, but I also have to know my worth... especially because he doesn't seem to see it. The beautiful music I have listened to with him has now turned bitter sweet.

If I could only be swept off my feet like I was with Joe. I had no choice but to love him... we fell together. It's a good thing I have my boy Tay.