Deep Breath...

It's been too long since I've written. I know this because my mind starts to spin circles without an outlet.

I've never been in a state of change for this long. Since December I've been without my own home--and I've got one month to go. I had some amazing travels, I was able to buy my new used car, and I've really had a good time living with Ray... but I'm VERY ready for my own sanctuary again.

I decided to actively look for a new job. For the amount of work I put in, I need to be making more than I am... but it's not only that. I've done more for that company than most--and they can't afford me anymore. In fact, they can't afford anyone anymore. The company takes such a large percentage that not one of our trainers makes decent pay... I guess that's part of the business, but it breaks my heart to cut the paychecks each month and know that NOBODY in at least my department except 4 people make even enough to live off of. And I'm not praised by upper management for my work. I need to be empowered, not oppressed.

So, I started interviewing, and I've had a few projects present themselves that seem pretty cool. I basically need to create my own position, but have been given the free reign to do so with a few companies. I also am teaching 3 yoga classes per week starting next week at Tridosha, meaning I will probably stop teaching at Kennedy soon thereafter.

Emotionally I'm not OK. There is too much transition, too many uncertainties... I'm sick and tired of fighting for what I deserve at work. It's such a hard job market in SLO. I have found a few entry level positions that pay more than I make, but the question is: what will make me happy?? Even the butcher at New Frontiers makes more than me, has full benefits and a 401k. Good for him!

I'm trying to do OK. I'm trying, but I feel like my strength is being tested over and over again.

Thank the heavens Pinecrest is a month away! And soon I will have my own little bungalow. Ahhhhh...

San Diego this weekend for the IDEA convention... a few days away with like minded professionals to get my head on straight.