My transition back to work has been less than smooth. I had an ecstatic weekend of bliss after the week of elation... but Monday morning hit hard. I ended up in tears at my staff meeting, unexpectedly.
I don't want this to be a blog about my imbalances and struggles. When I started writing a few years ago, my intention was to make a blog with wellness information, with a few personalized stories to emphasize my points... but the more years I spend in the wellness industry, I realize there is a HUGE disconnect, and I find myself writing the crap out.
We are the individuals responsible for the well being of many, many people, yet in this field, the pay is so little that 90% of us struggle just to make ends meet, if even accomplishing that feat. I've started to look at jobs outside my field... I guess I've been too optimistic in thinking someday my position would be full time, when in reality, I lack the support of that notion from my department.
I'm so deep in the work I'm doing, I struggle with the outstanding commitments I have, but in reality, I dig myself at least $500 deeper each month I stay where I am. I've been slowly sinking deeper and deeper, and using the money I had saved from my Audi. This is the first month it's all gone, all of it, and the panic is on.
I made an intention board this weekend, while still in the blissful state, envisioning all that I'd like to come and manifesting the future. The words "Industry Compensation" sit above a picture of a piggy bank filling with money. It's coming, even if I have to sacrifice an ideal position for one I can stand, and stability I can stand upon.
Se la vi.
Here is the only pic of me from Esalen with my friend Zander, striking a pose:
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