Glass

I long for the days of endless sun, when I'd turn my phone off and day dream. He'd spend hours searching for me, knowing the general area I would bask in the light of day. The surprise of seeing my love find my lounging body in the middle of nowhere was blissful.

I didn't know who I was, I didn't know who I wanted to be, but I knew he loved me. He loved every ounce of who I was, and what I represented. I could do no wrong. In his eyes, there was no other woman on earth.

We'd spend late nights drinking fabulous bottles of wine, staring into the eyes reflecting our own beauty. A truely disfunctional pairing it was, looking back... and I think I always knew it, but knowing his love, made me think we'd survive anything.

They were days of invincibility, days of triumph, of romance, of passion. I almost wish I'd never tasted it, so that every other taste was bearable... but nothing is so sweet. Nothing feels so blissful.

Tainted now by these dreams of the past, I have built a mountain of glass around me. I am unattainable, even to those who know how to play my games. They can see in, and I can see out, but my bubble is too thick, indubitably. I know love... and this is not it.

Love is nested in those days of endless sun, rolling around on our private beach, making plans for the future as if it was close enough to reach out and touch. He was a piece of me, and I... a piece of him.

Everyone was sure we'd last... that we were the lucky ones. They'd hope I would find the strength to fly even in his arms, and that he wouldn't be seduced by a risky career move.

No longer do I search for love. I've seen it, I've felt it, and I know that when the time is right, it will find me again. I won't have a choice. The sun will find me again.