Saturday, April 05, 2008

Buddha Buddha


Time for this Buddha to get unstuck.

Last night I spent a few cloudy hours digging up my cobwebs and repositioning myself, my life, my furniture, my things... all to new homes.

I've just begun reading If the Buddha got Stuck, and within the first few pages, it was apparent why both a friend and my mom recommended the read within the time span of about a week.

I've been stuck in dissonance. The place before change, when you know change is coming but you pull the old deer in the headlights gig until further notice. I'm done with that... I'm over it. I'm done with the struggle. I need no one to save me, no one to tell me what their way leads to, what I'm doing wrong or right. I'm done. The dissonance creates anxiety, the anxiety creates compulsive, stressed out craziness. Yuck.

It's time for me to nest in my home, in my beautiful sanctuary, without the paralyzing buzz of the television, but always the good smells of herbs, sage, good cookin' and golden retriever. My house. My struggle has been partially due to this high rent piece of yellow and purple pie I live in, and if I'm too stressed to enjoy it, what the crap?

So here are my new intentions:

1. Fix what's broken, move the shit forward, keep it all wheeling.

2. To not dwell on a situation, any situation. Detachment. The over attachment to things, particularly pleasurable is one of yoga's Kleshas, the things we use the Eight Limbs to rid ourselves of. Excess attachment; raga.

3. To live each day and play each day like there was no way I'd rather be living life... as if all my needs are 100% being met, by myself first and foremost.

4. To not personalize the actions of others. I know that what other people think of me is none of my business.

5. To truly and uninhibitedly be me, at all times.

At yoga class on Thursday, I was a little more of a 'loony toon' than usual. I was having such a joyful, blissful time in class, that the way I chose to end class was to create a circle of laughter. You got it, for a few minutes, we just laughed. Pretty powerful stuff, joy.

Perhaps it's the Aries energy putting a little strength in my stride? On that note, I'm off for a 13 mile run/walk to clear this cloudy dome.

2 comments:

pedro said...

STOKED for U! glad to hear it, onward, upward.

pedro said...

oh and can't wait to meet the sis and fam. ;)