THINK Manifestation

Friday night played out just as I'd expected... a glass of Pinot, the Red Curry with Tofu, good company and good laughs. Someone made a comment about the boys and girls on opposite sides of the table... and sure enough, there were 4 guys sitting across from 5 girls... then I noticed, I was the lone girl, and furthermore, the lone person wedged between 4 couples. Great. I'm that girl. After a drunken phone call from a certain someone, I called it a night.

Saturday was productive, lots of laundry, Tay time, cleaning and more cleaning. I pretty much sat myself down at about 5 PM and never got back up, only to eat. This morning, Betsy and I took the dogs to the beach and had breakfast, which meant now I had a sandy wet dog, clean floors and an over stuffed belly.

Tonight was the Kennedy Fitness Paso club dinner where we toured the club and were served horrible things--pizza and Chinese food. Healthy.

I ran before the dinner tonight, to try and warm my body and clear my head. Here's my summary, yet again... 3 jobs, no car, paying over half my income in rent, poor, frustrated and alone, oh and my insurance ran out on Friday. And the more my life sucks, the more I eat. The feeling of running is so good, except this time I ran to pound my legs into the pavement. By about 5 miles my shin bone started to ache like a stress fracture. I decided it would probably go away if I ran lighter, but it didn't. My entire run I was on the verge of tears... how do I keep getting myself into the same place over and over again? What am I doing wrong? The harder I pounded, the better I felt.

It may be time to move... soon. Problem is, when it's time, it will be summer and everything will be warm and beautiful. I started to apply for a position at Google, and started looking for other part time work, but it's not out there at the right price... I inquired about making my position at the City full time, and apparently it's not even up for discussion until 2009. It all makes me want to cry, and I'm not even pre-menstrual and I'm sober.

I can manifest anything right?