The Mondays

It's Monday night. My mom and Larry are in Belize, and have been since Thursday. It's a bit weird I must say. I know they are well and enjoying a vacation, but to not talk to them on a regular basis is odd.

Today was a crazy day. I woke at 5am, made it to Kennedy for a client at 6, and one at 7. Then 3 hours on the floor picking up after people and reracking weights. I rushed home to throw the ball for the dogs b/c I thought nobody was home. When I got here I suddenly remembered that it's President's Day and both my roommies were home doing nothing. Hmmph.

So I played ball, ate, and drove to Karla's to put in some hours developing the After School Program. Devin came home and motivated us to go to the gym. We went, and then picked up Tristam (two-year-old I watch) at Becky's friend's house. Picked up a pizza, back to Yukie and Karla's for crafts. Afterwards back to Becky's in Shell, then home to Los Osos.

The day wouldn't have been so long and tiresome if I'd had more sleep and if all of my destinations weren't so far apart. Work and home are 20 mins, Shell Beach and home are 30 mins.

Anyway, enough complaining about my day. The job is good, but I still have so many other things keeping me busy and taking time away from putting in work at Kennedy. I need to financially be able to just train. Once these internship hours are done life will be a lot less stressful.

I've come to terms with The Musician being gone, but still am not over it. Maybe it's the rejection, perhaps it's that I couldn't have just what I wanted. Maybe it's that I knew it was a strong connection. Either or any way, it's done... nothing that I say or do will change that, it can only make me a weaker character, in my eyes at least. I need more time to settle it in my head before moving on to someone else. Someone else is ready to move forward with me, but my view is tainted for a while. It's going to be a tricky situation to escape unscathed.

I know, like my grandma says, "everything is as it should be."

And I still don't like the song, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with..." It's bullshit. Be with the one you love. Don't settle.

It's now almost 8:30pm, and I will most likely be asleep within 5 mins. I love going to bed early. It's such a way of honoring thyself and the essential need for sleep :)