My day is nearing an end, it's 5:15PM. I woke up this morning at 4:45 for a 5:30 client who set her alarm wrong and slept in. The last few days I've been working long hours... I can feel it hormonally, I can feel it emotionally, I can feel it in my energy levels.
The past few weeks have been fun for me, living with Betsy that is. She's been fun to hang out with, and her space is exceptionally comfortable and safe for me. It's been interesting living without most of my posessions... I have to say I've quite enjoyed it, even though I miss my beautiful things.
What else is going on... Tay got groomed today, Ray leaves in two days for Mexico, mom is coming down for some R&R, and Christa and Ben are coming to save my day by helping me move this weekend.
My dad is finally leaving Florida, after 5 weeks of caring for grandma and grandpa. I remember a much different version of them than I think they've become over the last few years. I think it's almost better to not have the visual in my head, but rather to remember the good times we shared when I was younger.
It seems I don't have time for much of anything but work anymore, but I feel like I'm in a good place here... my client base is growing, my clients love the results I'm helping them to achieve, and I'm having fun doing it. I only wish I had a little more time for myself in the grand scheme of things... but that will come in time I guess.
I'm almost done for the day... I can't wait to get to Betsy's and enjoy some fish tacos and wine. Her cooking has been incredible, and I think it's been fun for her to have someone so happy to eat and chill out. Tay's going to miss her lab Cooper too.
Transition, transition, transition... this year has been a good one thus far. The year of the dog... my year. I wonder what else I can create?
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Update on Life
It's been a long time since I've written, at all. No journal, no blog, no newsletter. There has been a large shift in my life... in a few aspects.
Devin moved. I've known it was coming for quite some time, but it still didn't make it easier. He's not gone forever... I mean, he'll be in L.A. for the summer. Still, it's the absence of one of the most solid rocks in my life that leaves me unsettled.
On a lighter note, Larry turned 50! Mom put on a huge tropical extravaganza at the house with close to 70 people in attendance... it rocked. All the food was hand made organic vegan goodness, and BBQ chicken to compliment.
Work is going well, I'm still building my client base, finding that it's hard to fill my schedule completely and still have enough energy for each client. I won't do this job forever. I miss writing my newsletter, but have very little free time to spare.
A few random calls from The Musician threw me for a small loop, but all in all I'm feeling settled, grounded for once in a long while. I learned a lot about musicians, or showmen in general... bartenders can sometimes be thrown into this category, and cocktailing I can say I was too. They have 2 lives. The life of a performer and the normal human experience. When the performance side takes over the human side, there's trouble. The extra attention can be misleading and frustrating but also constructive and uplifting.
Anyway, I told The Musician that I can't listen to his work anymore... not because it's bad, it's all actually stellar, but because it wasn't the person I knew. I wanted to believe his words, but they were nothing but stories and fantasy... not the normal human experience. Not reality. I think that's why he ran... I was too real.
Ray and I have gotten much closer. He's been everything to me lately. My #1 supporter, my best SLO friend. I'm so grateful for him. We can make a great time out of any situation, and also cope with some hard times too. He leaves for Mexico in a few weeks with his two girl friends. The absence of him and Devin will leave me a little lost to say the least, but I think in both cases the trips will help them both to refocus and grow.
I wonder when I will fly away from SLO.
Devin moved. I've known it was coming for quite some time, but it still didn't make it easier. He's not gone forever... I mean, he'll be in L.A. for the summer. Still, it's the absence of one of the most solid rocks in my life that leaves me unsettled.
On a lighter note, Larry turned 50! Mom put on a huge tropical extravaganza at the house with close to 70 people in attendance... it rocked. All the food was hand made organic vegan goodness, and BBQ chicken to compliment.
Work is going well, I'm still building my client base, finding that it's hard to fill my schedule completely and still have enough energy for each client. I won't do this job forever. I miss writing my newsletter, but have very little free time to spare.
A few random calls from The Musician threw me for a small loop, but all in all I'm feeling settled, grounded for once in a long while. I learned a lot about musicians, or showmen in general... bartenders can sometimes be thrown into this category, and cocktailing I can say I was too. They have 2 lives. The life of a performer and the normal human experience. When the performance side takes over the human side, there's trouble. The extra attention can be misleading and frustrating but also constructive and uplifting.
Anyway, I told The Musician that I can't listen to his work anymore... not because it's bad, it's all actually stellar, but because it wasn't the person I knew. I wanted to believe his words, but they were nothing but stories and fantasy... not the normal human experience. Not reality. I think that's why he ran... I was too real.
Ray and I have gotten much closer. He's been everything to me lately. My #1 supporter, my best SLO friend. I'm so grateful for him. We can make a great time out of any situation, and also cope with some hard times too. He leaves for Mexico in a few weeks with his two girl friends. The absence of him and Devin will leave me a little lost to say the least, but I think in both cases the trips will help them both to refocus and grow.
I wonder when I will fly away from SLO.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
New Digs
It's now Sunday evening. There's a BBQ brewing over on Peach Street, but I'm hesitating to leave Pismo.
It has been a LONG weekend. I started moving Thursday and just finished my last load this morning. It is so hard to leave my Los Osos dwelling behind, but so very good for me to get rid of the bad energy that's taken over that house. I know that I'm responsible for much of that energy, or maybe things just became stale for me, nevertheless, I feel great being away from it. I'm setting new intentions for myself and my life here in SLO town.
I watch the same people night after night doing the same things... drinking, roaming, beaching, or working their asses off for little pay. Something about this town screams at the twenty-somethings to GET OUT! We train some of the best learn-by-doing people in the state, but then don't hesitate to kick them to the curb. I must say I even participate in this attitude... around this time of year, I'm stoked b/c the students leave for the summer. I always stayed (with the exception of one year) and it's been an epic time each summer.
So it's apparent to me that this blog has become more of a personal outlet for the past few months. My intentions for it were that of a wellness outlet, where people could look for health tips and training devices. For those of you who continue to read, thank you. I promise The Art of Balance will return soon, and wellness will be once again part of my written life.
It has been a LONG weekend. I started moving Thursday and just finished my last load this morning. It is so hard to leave my Los Osos dwelling behind, but so very good for me to get rid of the bad energy that's taken over that house. I know that I'm responsible for much of that energy, or maybe things just became stale for me, nevertheless, I feel great being away from it. I'm setting new intentions for myself and my life here in SLO town.
I watch the same people night after night doing the same things... drinking, roaming, beaching, or working their asses off for little pay. Something about this town screams at the twenty-somethings to GET OUT! We train some of the best learn-by-doing people in the state, but then don't hesitate to kick them to the curb. I must say I even participate in this attitude... around this time of year, I'm stoked b/c the students leave for the summer. I always stayed (with the exception of one year) and it's been an epic time each summer.
So it's apparent to me that this blog has become more of a personal outlet for the past few months. My intentions for it were that of a wellness outlet, where people could look for health tips and training devices. For those of you who continue to read, thank you. I promise The Art of Balance will return soon, and wellness will be once again part of my written life.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Fly
I sit here, it's Thursday night. I decided today that tomorrow I leave Los Osos. It's become too toxic here for me. I bought coffee and a tasty treat to spike my energy level a few hours ago... I see now why Larry is so efficient :)
I realize that lately my writing, my attitude, my being, have all been stunted, confused, tainted by life. I am by no means a victim. I caused everything that is happening in my life. I created my life, I shaped it into what it's become. I need to get out of here. Betsy has been kind enough to lend me her spare bedroom for a few weeks until the new house is ready. I just need to get out.
Kristen is in town, hanging out with Ray at Frog and Peach. It's been almost a year since she left and since we've spoken. It's been one of the things I have grieved most in my life. Having a roommate and close friend disappear was absolutly devastating. I guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
So my things are grouped together in boxes... plants in one corner, clothes here, pillows there... it's all being prepared for the journey ahead. With these next few moves come new intentions, a new life for me and my little dog Tay. My castle is falling apart, the beauty I've created here must migrate elsewhere. It's a shame.
Devin leaves in a few weeks. I can't say this is going to be easy for me... but even harder for him. He's starting a brand new life half way across the world, with people who know nothing of his past, only what he decides they need to know. A clean breath of air, a blank canvas. It would be nice.
I realize that lately my writing, my attitude, my being, have all been stunted, confused, tainted by life. I am by no means a victim. I caused everything that is happening in my life. I created my life, I shaped it into what it's become. I need to get out of here. Betsy has been kind enough to lend me her spare bedroom for a few weeks until the new house is ready. I just need to get out.
Kristen is in town, hanging out with Ray at Frog and Peach. It's been almost a year since she left and since we've spoken. It's been one of the things I have grieved most in my life. Having a roommate and close friend disappear was absolutly devastating. I guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
So my things are grouped together in boxes... plants in one corner, clothes here, pillows there... it's all being prepared for the journey ahead. With these next few moves come new intentions, a new life for me and my little dog Tay. My castle is falling apart, the beauty I've created here must migrate elsewhere. It's a shame.
Devin leaves in a few weeks. I can't say this is going to be easy for me... but even harder for him. He's starting a brand new life half way across the world, with people who know nothing of his past, only what he decides they need to know. A clean breath of air, a blank canvas. It would be nice.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Soul Elation
He stood behind me.
Waiting and watching.
His nerves jumping.
I turned and saw him.
Where did he come from?
Was I dreaming?
Was he alone?
I gasped.
There he was,
He received me.
I felt his warmth again.
Why had he been away so long?
We played in the dirt in anticipation of Spring.
Rescued jellyfish in the muddy bay.
Planned a tree tour of the local beauties.
And had my favorite meal.
It was perfect.
I could not have asked for more.
And then he was gone.
Like lingering bells in the distance.
The intensity is greater with him than with any other.
And I tell myself:
This is how I satisfy my soul.
Waiting and watching.
His nerves jumping.
I turned and saw him.
Where did he come from?
Was I dreaming?
Was he alone?
I gasped.
There he was,
He received me.
I felt his warmth again.
Why had he been away so long?
We played in the dirt in anticipation of Spring.
Rescued jellyfish in the muddy bay.
Planned a tree tour of the local beauties.
And had my favorite meal.
It was perfect.
I could not have asked for more.
And then he was gone.
Like lingering bells in the distance.
The intensity is greater with him than with any other.
And I tell myself:
This is how I satisfy my soul.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Stalled and Transplanting
I've been slowed down. I always run... rain, shine, tired, hung over. Running is my outlet, my saving grace, my piece of mind. I can't run for a while, while I wait for the knee to heal. Only one bout of cardio in 5 days makes for a grumpy girl. I've been walking around on it for work, and I can last a few hours before it's screaming at me. So RICE is my prescription. Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation.
On a lighter note, Chris and I found a place to live on Murray Street. Murray Street is an interesting one, on one side of it there are college complexes and parties galore. On the other side of it, there are trees in the middle of the street with a side walk in between. That's the side we're on. It's one of my favorite strips in SLO. The house we are going to move into isn't beautiful, yet. With a little work, it will polish up real nice.
So, I guess I'm moving into SLO. We'll see how things turn out for me in town. I know I'll have a ton more time and less money spent on gas, with friends a bike ride away. All good things.
On a lighter note, Chris and I found a place to live on Murray Street. Murray Street is an interesting one, on one side of it there are college complexes and parties galore. On the other side of it, there are trees in the middle of the street with a side walk in between. That's the side we're on. It's one of my favorite strips in SLO. The house we are going to move into isn't beautiful, yet. With a little work, it will polish up real nice.
So, I guess I'm moving into SLO. We'll see how things turn out for me in town. I know I'll have a ton more time and less money spent on gas, with friends a bike ride away. All good things.
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