Lost Cause

Today has been by far the strangest day in many moons. I woke up at 6:20 for my client at 6:30... not nearly enough time to think. I was only 5 minutes late, and seeing as it was my big shot lawyer, I felt pretty bad. Shit happens.

So I go about my day, probably about 7 clients in total today, not a bad schedule. The thing about today is that I am totally disconnected. I don't know what the hell has probed this, but I'm running into things, dropping everything, forgetting appointments... hmmph.

So now I'm home. I finally have food in the house which feels good, but I can barely see the mounds of laundry drowning my room, and therefore my mind. There's just something about a clean room that allows my thoughts to flow free. So I guess the mission is fold, fold, fold.

Some good news... hmmm...

I'll think about it.

Until then, some pictures to entertain.

Wandering Mind

Because life is hard.

Because life can pick you up, swallow you and shit you out before you can think once about it.

When riding the wave of life, is it ever time to fight the current?

Does flowing through life get exhausting enough to quit or fight... or die contemplating?

How do we know when we have found IT? Love, light, sanity, elation, well being... or is there always a search for more?

What if we just aim to feel?

There are questions and there are answers... do we ask enough questions to determine legitimate answers? Or do we just keep asking until something makes sense.

Some THING. Some bit of sense unlike other sensible things... what gives?

The Beauty of Breath

Breathe... not because it's cool, not because someone told you it would make things easier, but because it brings life. It makes the organs glow with positive white light. It brings sanity and sanctity and everything impossible becomes suddenly obtainable. Because it will change your past, your present, your future, your SELF... breathe.

Dipshit

So I'm pretty much a dipshit. I noticed this morning at Rite Aid that I'd lost my credit/debit card. I remembered seeing it at the Cakery (quite impossible actually) and couldn't find it since. After frantically calling around, I finally tried to login to B of A online. It wouldn't log me on! So I am creating a conspiracy theory in my head. Somebody has stolen my card, closed the account and fled the country!!!

So, I call the bank... and sure enough, like a dipshit, I left the damn thing in the ATM on Monday :0) I never cease to amaze myself.

In other entertaining news, I cut Ray a mullet today... and for those of you who don't remember Billy Ray Cyrus, here is what the mullet looks like:

or check out http://www.mulletmadness.com/.

Life is funny.

Fire

Yoga tonight was excellent. All day I thought about how much I had to do, and hoped that I'd be able to scurry over to Tridosha. I made it happen... I had to.

Even though now, at 8:30pm, I have 4 programs to write and 3 baskets of laundry to fold (why on earth does someone need so many clothes?) I made it.

I've been thinking quite hard about how to incorporate vacation as more of my daily routine. Vacationing just felt so good to my soul, there must be a way to do it more often... and maybe even get paid for it.

Pinecrest pictures turned out great, except for the fact that I'm a dipshit and deleted half the pictures... hopefully Ben and Larry can perform some kind of witch magic and make them reappear.

The days are dragging, and I'm longing for hammock naps and long love affairs with my book. I guess that's what dreams are for. Tonight in yoga, Alyson the instructor made the analogy of finding where the muscle burns and sitting in the fire. I guess maybe that's what I'll use to get me through life. Sit in the fire, for the future may be fruitful.

Wishing for Simplicity

Writing hasn't been a priority and I think this is why I'm getting grumpy. It's Friday, the Friday of my first week back to work. Hanging out in the wilderness was so cleansing, so rejuvenating, so good for my soul...

I try to incorporate all of these things in my everyday life each year after Pinecrest. Unfortunately, I was greeted by flashing lights, annoying music, gym rats, and tons of work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I've actually been making enough money to live off of! But, I miss the serenity of Pinecrest. I miss being able to sleep when I needed sleep, exercise when need be, and jump in a lake when the world is too hot or too overwhelming.

So, here I sit, in my house, sun setting... I have a good life. But, today, I let stress overcome me. I woke up frantic and late, made it to work for my 6am appointment, and back in bed by 7:15. I've created this idiotic cycle. I wake up after not getting enough sleep, so I nap mid morning. Well then when evening comes, I'm not tired because I've napped, therefore the cycle continues.

Chris brought home a puppy today; he's puppy-sitting... which is ok, but adding to my stress and anxiety. I just need to breathe. Inhale... exhale... but even that seems to complex for a night like tonight.

The good news is that I've committed to yoga again, and that feels great.