Creation

It's Tuesday. I've seen 3 clients already, and now I await my pre-noon hike. Work is great, I'm extrememely busy with my own clients and also doing admin work. I really can't complain except that more people want my time than I have time to give. I know, it's a hard life.

So I've put together, by necessity really, some stretches for peoples hips and low back. I guess I've experimented until I've found a combination that jives particularly well.

Since stretching more clients, with some manual manipulation of muscles, and even sometimes bones... people are stoked. And think about it... if I saw a trainer doing a stretch on someone who looks to be in a trance, and they get up and walk more freely, no pain... I'd pay someone on the spot too.

So I don't want to push people away... what if I train other trainers to do this sort of thing. BUT if done wrong, there's a potential for disaster.

HMMM. I think I'll just go do more yoga. That's truly where I feel best.

It feels like I'm creating a whole new realm of training.

Ram Bam Thank Ya Ma'am

There's no doubt in my mind that the moon is powerful. I've written before about how odd things happen, people from the past resurface, mental states are almost taken over by the earth's energy. It's the closest to people walking around like zombies I think we ever get on earth.

Here are two interesting moon posts:

Lunatics...
The Moon Cloud...

So I ran into Joe, of course the ram from my past... strangely enough it was 7am and I'd taken a wrong turn on my way to Big Sky to pick up breakfast for Ray and I. I didn't recognize him at first, but then stopped to say hi and meet his dog. I went into Big Sky, and 2 minutes later, he walked in after me. Weird. One of the servers still thought we were together, as she packed coffeecake in the same bag for us. Comedy.

This moon is a Taurus moon, or the moon of the ram. People for almost 5 days this time have literally been ramming into each other. At work, twice in one hour, two different people tried to steal a machine I was leaning on with a client... I'm talking setting down their towels and all, not asking. It's never happened like that once, but twice... in the same day?!

Ray and I saw a woman back into another lady at New Frontiers today, I pointed at her and screamed before it happened and she looked at me like I was crazy. Little did she know, she was on moon crack. We heard right after that that 2 minutes before, another accident happened in the same spot.

Whatever it is, there is strange, crazy energy in the world this week. Ram moon, harvest moon, start of Fall, whatever it may be, people are crazy!

I myself had a pretty insane weekend. I was overwhelmed with emotion and anxiety. I blamed it on 3+ hours Fri-Sun doing Pilates, but it was more than that. I cried for the first time in a long time, hard and uncontrollably. I thought Ray way going to freak. I'd warned him of my craziness, but he hadn't seen me like this. I also freaked out and thought there were people in my house when I was home alone.

Day after day, it just gets more twisted. I mean, I know Taurus' are intense, but who knew their moon would send waves crashing?

Budge

Expressing Everyday Gratitude. That's what one of my emails was titled today. My grandfather used to say, "The Attitude is Gratitude."

Am I showing enough gratitude in my life in its present state?

The past few weeks I have been in job transition... at least in my head. I've been approached about a few intriguing projects, that seem to have some potential. I've also been negotiating for more income in my current position. The first offer was about as laughable as what I was previously being paid... the second offer is not much better. The more I fight for what I feel I deserve, the more I question my own worth.

In my heart, I know that I'm a hard working, dedicated, motivated employee... but what happens when you're working for a company in the health field that runs on a business model? They've made money on a this business model... but also in the process provided a facility to assist in changing lives for the better.

In a world where compensation is not readily offered (at least in my experience thus far) how the hell does one make a decent living? Especially when the cost of living comes pretty close to your wages?

I'm trying really hard not to judge anyone else right now. I sometimes wish I could live Ray's life... working 2 nights per week and playing 7 days per week. It's hard for me to give my all to all my clients and then come home to someone who has experienced nothing of the like all day. He keeps me sane for the most part though.

Going back to the subject of work, I almost feel as though my education, skills and experience matter very little in the grand scheme of things... I'm replaceable. BUT, I have a following. I've made a lot of people very happy in the 9 months I've been there... and that is worth thousands a month to them... even though I'm not.

Seriously, what gives?



The moon is getting fuller.

Breathe. Just breathe.