Yogini

Wow. I finally went to yoga this morning and I felt like a fish out of water, at first. It's been about 3 months since I've practiced with anyone else, or for more than 20 minutes. My body ached, I felt nerve pain in my back and shoulder nearly the entire time, but I knew that what I was doing was good. I was resetting my energy levels, I was sending new signals to my muscles. I reached a state of complete relaxation.

Life is hard right now... it really is. It's great, and I'm having an amazing time, but it's hard. I'm busy, and tired, and stressed... I go from 5 or 7AM to 6 or 10PM, every day.

I've pondered recently whether or not to move out of my house, again. I sometimes think it'll work, and other times remember how many bad (and good) roommates I've had. I love living alone, I love the solitude, my own sacred space, my beautiful feminine things. I just don't like my huge rent bill each month, that's all.

So, I plan to stay, and to root myself into my space, to thrive here, to grow here, to work here.

Yoga is my clarity, it allows me to feel and sense and cry. All too often I push my emotion deeper and deeper inside because I don't want to appear weak, to myself or to others. But in reality, we're all weak... we all cry. It's OK.

My shoulder started feeling better when I started breathing more deeply and fluidly, testing and pushing my chest capacity. Within a day, the nerves took a break from seething.

So, Saturday: laundry, plants, chores, homework, dogs and work tonight. It's funny how those simple chores in life can make the mind feel so much better. I love the weekends... and I love yoga.